Soul Cravings - Intimacy

I am currently reading a book called, Soul Cravings and it has already opened my eyes to what my soul craves. I am barely 50 pages into the book and I have already learned about my craving for intimacy and what that means.

I wanted to leave you with some notes that I jotted down that deal with love. Once we accept that we are designed for love, then we can learn about our soul cravings, understand them and know where they came from.

A few things I have learned:

- There is no subject more discussed among human beings that is more captivating and more elusive than love.

- How is it that the same thing that can make your life a rhapsody can also leave you gutted, like a dead fish wrapped in a
day-old newspaper.

- The more you love someone, the more the person can hurt you.

- Sex is a shortcut to love. There is no such thing as "free sex". It always comes at a cost. Either your heart, or your soul.

- To give up on love is to choose a life that is less than human. To give up on love is to give up on life.

- The most powerful evidence that our souls crave God is that within us there is a longing for love.

- We are created to know God and to know love. It is love that moves God toward us and love that pulls us toward God.
Follow love and it will leave you to God.

- Without love there is no life. To love is to be fully human.

- God is the One we deserve the least, the One we need the most and the One who desires us the most.

- If God is love, it is maddening when we are running from God and yet searching for love.

- It is insanity to run from God and search for love.

My "marked change"

The year 2008 will be remembered forever as the best and worst year of my life. It is the year of my "marked change". You see, I was saved at the age of 9. I remember the date and everything about it. It was genuine and I can remember the change in my heart. I was baptized 4 days later. Somewhere along the line, I decided to live my life for me and not God and remained that way until this year.

2008 was the year I made it to the final 30 of a reality show called, "The Mole". Had about a 50% chance of making it on the show and having my life change. When it didn't happen it was a huge letdown for me. I also totaled my car and hurt my back 3 days before I was going to run a half marathon. After 6 weeks of physical therapy, I then dislocated my knee cap and was right back in therapy for 12 weeks. Medical expenses drained me and the year was only halfway over. Something was going on with my "luck" this year.

It wasn't all bad though. I met a young woman and feel head over heels for her. I have never experienced a connection with someone like I did with her. It was real and emotions ran high very quickly. I was sure that this was it, and was on top of the world. What I didn't realize is that God was about to use that situation and come calling for me once again.

My "marked change" occurred in the depth of complete brokenness. Laying in my bed and having no where else to turn, I finally asked God for help and admitted that my way of living wasn't working. I gave him complete control and haven't been the same since. I claimed Romans 12:2 as my life verse - "Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

I have learned more about God and myself in the past 4 months than I have my entire life. Discovering and experiencing God has been a journey of enlightenment that I never expected. Being able to share most of it with someone has been priceless.

Which brings me to Christmas. As I sit here, it is almost midnight on Christmas Eve and I am so thankful. Thankful for my family and friends. I don't believe I have ever truly appreciated family more than I do right now. Thinking back on my Christmas morning experiences growing up and remembering the sheer joy and happiness is something I will cherish forever.

I absolutely cannot wait to experience that one day with kids of my own. God is preparing me for the next chapter of my life and I am so ready for it. I desire to be a godly man more than anything.

As I look back on a year where I cried more tears and was at my lowest point, I can only praise God for it all. A "marked change" is something only God can do. I don't know what my future holds, but I know that God will be the center of it and that is the greatest blessing of all.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Happy Birthday Jesus. Thank you for your perfect example and the ultimate sacrifice for my sins.

Your life is NOT a fairy tale

“Your life is not a fairy tale.” That’s what someone told me a while back. “You need to quit living in a fantasy world, because in the real world your life doesn’t work out like in the movies. Stop dreaming the big dreams. A relationship is one that takes hard work and if it isn’t working out, you try harder. Wes, your life is not a movie, it is not The Notebook.”

For a moment or two, this really got to me. Maybe I am just a dreamer that is out of touch with reality. Maybe I should just settle and not expect too much. Those relationships that seem so perfect are just a movie. A figment of someone’s great imagination. How could that ever happen to me?

Then it hit me, why would I just settle? Does God want us to settle on mediocrity? To just get by in life? Absolutely not! Psalm 37:4 says to “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

I fully expect to have a fairy tale romance. To sweep and be swept off of my feet. I refuse to settle. I refuse mediocrity. I want the very best of what God has to offer. I will not settle. I fully believe that when God is the absolute center of a relationship/marriage the “great” times will far outweigh the “good” times and the “bad” or “tough”” times. Of course it will take work, any human to human relationship does, but there will never be a feeling of “is this as good as it gets?”

Before I march out into the world and declare that God give me what I want, there is a prerequisite. You might have missed it, but it’s there. “Delight yourself in the Lord.” What does that mean exactly?

Well, in fairy tale terms, it means to be swept off your feet by God’s love. Before God can entrust you with the emotions and heart of one of his children he wants you to be fully sustainable by Him.

How can we ever be fully sustainable by God if he isn’t a part of our daily life? He is more than just an hour on Sunday’s. He is more than a wishing well. He is a father, a best friend and a constant companion.

A friend of mine once told me that the next girl he dates he wants to look them in the eye and say this: “I don’t need you in my life. I want you in my life. I am blessed to have you in my life, but I am fully sustainable by Christ alone.”

Scary proclamation, but that is the very definition of delighting yourself in the Lord.

Once upon a time...